Thursday, February 4, 2010

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

I won't lie to you, change is hard. Currently the people reading this blog are the ones who know me best, therefore it shouldn't come as a surprise that I kind of suck at change. As much as I'm excited about my new life, there are a lot of things I miss about my old one. I miss TV, my car, knowing how to find the Safeway. For me, missing things can make me feel lonely. The loneliness is different here. There are all kinds of lonely in this City. Single lonely, homeless lonely, misguided lonely, happy lonely. You can see it in the faces of the people sitting across the aisle on the bus.

In the 'Burbs, convenience is King. I think it is one of the biggest reasons people live there. It is easy to do the things that you want to do. In the City, you have to work for it. You want to go to Nopa? You have to figure out what bus gets you there (the 24), walk to it (4 blocks), wait for it (every 15 minutes). You can't control your destiny in the City the way you do in the 'Burbs. You aren't the one steering the ship and that is hard to get used to.

But, with the lonely comes hope. Anticipation. The beauty of the unknown. My life in the 'Burbs was pretty predictable. It was the same thing over and over. In that predictability, there was a sense of comfort. Like mac n' cheese. It tastes so good but you know deep down while you're eating it that its going right to your thighs. I made the choice to shake things up and start a new life in the City. It is different and I've had to give up some of the convenience I'm used to.

In return, I've gained possibilities. Here, you never know what card you will pull from the deck. It may be a fantastic dinner with friends at a brand new hot trendy restaurant like last night. Or maybe its a run in with a weirdo that results in some laughs with your sister over the phone or celebrating the fact that you chased down the bus in the rain and caught it with a high-five from a perfect stranger. Little miracles everywhere, just waiting to be celebrated. Although it might sound dumb, I feel these are the stories I will tell when I'm older to teenage grandchildren who will be busy rolling their eyes and texting on their PDA.

Adjusting takes time, but I can say since I've moved here, I find myself smiling without realizing it. I find myself believing things are possible. I won't bullshit you, I get lonely sometimes and I miss my family and friends in the 'Burbs, and my 567 channels (including HBO and Starz) but sometimes when you kick yourself out of your comfort zone and you finally do find the Safeway or learn a new bus line you will find yourself basking in those florescent lights like an actress at curtain call. When you catch yourself smiling without realizing it, losing convenience somehow seems totally worth it because you replaced it with yourself.


  1. So true honey...I am SO proud of you. You are doing great and let's remember ( I know you are an over achiever) BUT it has only been 1 week!!!!! I can't wait to come up next weekend! xxkp

  2. You rock Ali! I love this blog!

    I felt very similar when I switched jobs. There were some time of apprehension, but the change was so, so good for me. It sounds like you're experiencing something similar, and that's awesome.

    Love you!




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